triShwong photography

:: to love you ::

2011-05-25T21:35:00.014+08:00

i must let you go.

----------------------------------------------------------------
** parts of me have woken up from a dream and i've found myself dancing alone in this rain...

:: forever ::

2011-05-21T12:37:00.032+08:00

today, it's hit me hard.
today, i feel the void.
today, the missing you is too real.
today, yesterday is all i want.

--------------------------------------------------
** i only saw snippets of you as you fought your battle with cancer. some days, your body would wear you down but, most days your lips were filled with praises for God's goodness. your faith was beyond my understanding. i'll never forget that moment you tightly held my hand and kissed it. you always made me feel like i matter. that i mattered to you. that last visit, i felt so awkward. so helpless. never could i have imagined it would be our last. you don't know how much you mean to me. nor did i. no, not till God called you Home. i'll always treasure your words of encouragement. i'll remember them in my worst of days. i never told you but, you've such a unique flair in the dresses you wore. your love for God, your family. for everyone. how you could never tire from smiling for others, i'll never know.

i'll see you again. till then, i'll be missing you. you're flying, aunty Nancy. flying. forever.

:: empty ::

2011-05-17T16:30:00.005+08:00

the loss of a wife, mother, a friend.
to the son, my buddy, you have my heart.

:: innocence ::

2011-02-17T23:59:00.004+08:00

-----------------------------------------------------

** so we've been trying to get this dude to go on a much needed diet. how do you resist such an adorable face like this?

:: much ::

2011-02-14T00:50:00.006+08:00

it's all about your heart and mine

it's all about the overflowing
'cos there's so much love...
...so much love in need.

------------------------------------------
** Happy Valentine's Day to you, my friends. you mean the world to me :)

:: i wanna be ::

2011-02-12T18:06:00.015+08:00

i don't wanna be a bubble; that momentary high.
i wanna be a shaker.

like a scar that never heals.

---------------------------------------------
** every so often, life presses hard on its brakes. you curse in shock. dazed. sitting in silence, the signal lights blinking in your eyes. blinding. your heart races. where do you want to go? what do you want to do with your life? ... will it ever be ok to not know?

:: equal ::

2011-02-07T00:10:00.009+08:00

i need you.

you need me.

------------------------------------------

** amazing how much you can learn from so little.

:: twinkles ::

2011-02-03T01:44:00.006+08:00

...of hope, warmth and blessings

in love, life and laughter.

-----------------------------------------

** a very belated Merry Christmas 2010 & a Happy New Year 2011 and Gong Xi Fa Cai greeting to you! :) hope your year has brought you to amazing places, both physically and in the most unexplainable way imaginable. xoxo~*

:: growth ::

2010-12-13T20:08:00.007+08:00

where life continues and pushes on...

...in quietness...unbearable stillness,

something happens, something happens.

------------------------------------------------------

** i know, i know... this space is a glorified graveyard :)

:: detour ::

2010-11-20T20:40:00.009+08:00

mommy's got a strawberry patch.

somebody please scream "Farmville"!!

----------------------------------------

** so we were takin' a drive and came across that signboard. wait. hang on. last i checked, we were living in humid Kuching. "it's not a myth", said the dude upon meeting him at the gate of his home. hailing from England, he has crossed his strawberries with something malaysian to grow normally as normal can get. it takes 1yr for fruits but it lives up to 10. wanna be like my mommy and get all Farmville for life? go HERE!

:: gentle reminders ::

2010-10-31T23:36:00.011+08:00

i've been reflective on the year thus far. gosh, have i been through many new emotional journeys, and back down to familiar ones. i've been happier than i could remember, but i've been through depths of heartaches. and wow, when they say the pain hurts... it.hurts.bad.

i've learnt things about myself; the typical, the shocking.

a friend has been telling me that when things don't work out as i've planned, it just means God has closed that door. of course it angered me. it confused my heart. wondering, why wouldn't He see my heart for a change and let things be the way i want it to. it's my life, i know best!

...don't i?

today, through conversations, i realised how much i don't. no, i don't know what's best for myself. no, i don't. no, no. no.

in the midst of me making bad decisions, in the midst of me following my raging emotions, i had failed to see the warnings, i've ignored His gentle reminders, "don't go that way. stop. rest awhile. let go. trust Me."

He knows me more than i know me. He knew i would hurt myself. but He also knew i needed to go through the hurt, to burn. sometimes, it's the only way i'll grow up, sometimes, it's the only way i'll stop steering out of control and let Him drive.

life's a rollercoaster. it's not just cliche but a fact.

i'm pullin' over, gettin' out of the drivers seat and sliding into the passengers'.

this time, the seat-belt's fastened.

:: don't go changing ::

2010-10-18T23:38:00.006+08:00

don't go changing your true colors

don't go deceiving your heart

don't go deceiving mine.

:: silenced in confusion ::

2010-09-29T22:24:00.008+08:00

it's just one of those days,

i have so much of so little to say.

it's just one of those days,

my heart becomes a living sponge to all emotions.

it's just one of those days,

the ability to express fails me to frustration.

it's just one of those days i need to sit in silence.

:: remembering ::

2010-09-27T19:01:00.011+08:00

there's power in the dimming light.

casting shadows, making it's mark.

you can only hold on to so many memories of today

before tomorrow and you let go in forgetfulness.

but remembering will find you.

it will find you.

:: devoted ::

2010-09-25T23:38:00.011+08:00

when two hearts find each other.

when two hearts can think of nothing else.

"till death do us part"

:: candle-lessness ::

2010-09-22T22:52:00.008+08:00

nothing beats old-fashioned paper & candle lanterns.

and the feeling of a sunset heat on your face.

here's me wishing all my fellow Chinese a wonderful

Mid-Autumn Festival celebration!

**lay off 'em sweet Mooncakes, now!

:: sea of strangers ::

2010-09-20T23:35:00.007+08:00

at the Mooncake Festival

on Carpenter Street, Kuching.

no, we don't live in trees. trust me.

to view as slideshow & for tiny descriptions, click here

-------------------------------------
**purposely left the flash at home to challenge the chicken in me. results? dark images (duh!) i had awesome fun, nonetheless. admist getting loads of blur shots, my mind and heart were clear as day. i've never felt more alive! the cool night air, camera in hand. i knew it from the depths of my soul - i.am.insanely.happy!

:: aal izz well ::

2010-09-17T00:37:00.007+08:00

a tiny piece of India

in.my.trembling.hands.

my heart.soars.

one day, i'll touch the soil of her earth.

:: only if ::

2010-09-04T16:24:00.008+08:00

storm after storm
i shake my fists and hide away in anger

only in accordance to Your time.
only when You call forth the sun.
only if i choose to stop and believe.

i see Your love reflected
in each.and.every. raindrop

:: reasons ::

2010-08-31T00:00:00.010+08:00

the countless lifes sacrificed, lost in wars big & small
the hearts that beat with purpose, steadfastness & hope
the friends I have of diverse race, cultures & backgrounds
the differences that make us all the more in need of each other

for these reasons and more,
i choose to appreciate.

to thank God for the blessings upon my country.

Happy 53rd Independence, Malaysia.

:: rest ::

2010-08-19T21:26:00.006+08:00

your hand in mine
when you’re all worn out from toiling and trying.
rest. your head on my shoulders
when you can’t find the strength to look towards the sky.
rest. your heart on mine
when you know you just can’t live on anymore.

---------------------------------

**i wish i could be brave enough to tell you how much i care. i wish i could be the friend you're needing. i wish i could stop making wishes and just. just be. you're always in my heart no matter what happens. you can count on me. always. and as always.

:: someday, somehow ::

2010-08-12T20:37:00.010+08:00

we'll be together
you, me and us.

----------------------------
**inspired by one of my favourite Bollywood films, "You, Me Aur Hum". Kajol & Ajay Devgn. forever! :)

:: lost ::

2010-08-11T18:54:00.007+08:00

to find yourself, sometimes you've got to lose yourself.

what happens if you're completely gone?

that the shadow you see, scares you.

:: caught ::

2010-08-09T23:38:00.015+08:00

in you.

i’ll never tell. no, not even a whisper.
i'm entrapped in who you are.

oh, in the you i wish you could be.

:: seven ::

2010-08-01T23:23:00.004+08:00

happy birthday!

:: rain ::

2010-07-31T17:39:00.005+08:00

you stir up a world of emotions in me

as lightning you strike the earth of my heart

drowning all i know into fragility.

:: different ::

2010-07-22T21:38:00.004+08:00

in the way i look at life, my life and life in the small.

in the words i choose to express emotions, silence and nothingness.

in the quantity, oh, the quantity, and quality of it all.

to those who have embraced my ubber weirdness,

to you i raise an eternal toast.

:: if it means that much ::

2010-07-19T20:18:00.003+08:00

you give your all
every.single.part. of your heart

if it means that much.

if it means that much.

:: not my own ::

2010-07-18T15:42:00.005+08:00

some days i feel in total control

but there are days

this heart isn't mine alone.

try as i may

but like a bird

it fights to be free.

so do i hold on tighter

or let go

and smile as it soars.

----------------------------

** sorry for the slack in this blog. maybe when life paints a clearer picture, i might be able to see, feel, write better. or, maybe not.

:: something special ::

2010-06-02T13:57:00.005+08:00

when it touches your heart

everything turns beautiful

the kind you don't want to forget

...the kind you can't forget

:: no excuse ::

2010-05-28T22:29:00.002+08:00

for the cobwebs in this space.

still, it spins faster and faster than i can say

"i will try harder"

"i will keep the fire burning"

everyday's a journey.

:: creatures of change ::

2010-05-02T23:16:00.006+08:00

for weeks he's parked himself on the cool, tiled floor of the balcony.

since yesterday, he's back inside and around the house;

under my feet as i'm on my computer,

warming my chair in case i find it too cold...

oh, the tiny joys in life!

:: untitled ::

2010-05-01T21:52:00.003+08:00

:: her heart ::

2010-04-15T23:09:00.009+08:00

ever had one of those days where everything just seems to go wrong?

mine seem to have turned into years.

years of doors slamming in my face

crushing my heart, soul and dreams inbetween.

tonight as i got ready for bed, an email from dearest penpal flew in.

i stopped to read. i'm glad.

we've been out of touch lately

sometimes i don't know where to begin.

she wrote,

"I've been praying for you though, praying for both of us.

With every door that closes, another will open."

it's comforting to know

and to have someone holding your heart

in theirs.

:: i wonder ::

2010-04-12T20:18:00.001+08:00

could we ever find ourselves...

in the midst of lonliness?

:: pause ::

2010-04-04T20:21:00.003+08:00

..and remember.

that's what i need the most.

thank You, Jesus, for life

and life renewed.

:: in reflections ::

2010-03-30T20:19:00.002+08:00

..of life.

and the meaning of it.

:: spunky ::

2010-03-07T15:45:00.005+08:00

the way she loves to play amongst the green, green grass

her white and brown and oh-so-blue eyes...

she will not be forgotten.

dear spunky's life was taken by an unknown older cat.

i will not forget the moment i heard the news.

i will never forget the sadness i saw in her 15yr-old owners face and body language.

i will not forget the fence she would cross over.

i will never forget the way she bounded along in play, in joy.

in security.

today i was very encouraged to see her owner out and about in his garden with a butterfly net in tow. i am encouraged that he is moving on in life and still appreciating the beauty of nature. i am encouraged that there is still a boy in today's modern world who lives his life to the fullest through his adventures in the insect world, fishing in the drain, saving baby birds.

spunky and the 15yr-old.

special.

:: six dresses ::

2010-02-28T15:33:00.004+08:00

i have this bad, bad habit of putting things off (updating my blog is a different issue, yo!)...especially things that scare me. so for too long now i have yet to have a photoshoot of my own. i needed the practise. i needed a model. and there was little R.

6 dresses, 5 hours, 1 adventure!

** warning: picture overload post!

all pictures have been given approval for display **

i've gained much from this experience. amazingly enough, i'm usually careful about getting dirty and germs and so on... but i guess once behind the camera, you'd do anything like lie on dirty floors, dirty your pants, etc. to get the shot. i look forward to my next.

conclusion?

kids and sugar = no!no!no!

so, what do you think?

:: simple ::

2010-02-17T20:05:00.003+08:00

oh, simple thing, where have you gone?

i'm getting old and i need something to rely on.

~keane

:: a little more than red ::

2010-02-16T20:47:00.003+08:00

i hope everyone had a fun, fun, FUN chinese new year celebration through all the visiting, bountiful foods and conversations. i know i did. tiring as it all was, i cherished the moments of sitting down with others, reminiscing and learning new things about each other, and vice versa.

definately more than just red.

:: a befitting welcome ::

2010-02-14T01:08:00.004+08:00

for LOUD tigers...

*roar?*

SHINE like stars, peepers!!
and have a lovely Valentine's!

:: falling for you ::

2010-01-24T21:21:00.008+08:00

it always breaks my heart to read and watch documentaries on animal rescues. many times i wish i could do something, and today, i had a tiny yet humongous experience on the way to church...

tiny 7-weeks old siamese kittens somehow ended up in a big drain and they were crying for help as they struggled with water up to their necks and against the mass of black and green drain goo. a friend helped and was a hero to have gotten into the drain and gently brought them out.

here they are after a quick make-shift shower in a sink and dish washing liquid.

after a meal of warm condensed milk and some play time, they needed to sleep.

my family can't afford to take adopt them, nor could so many others whom i've asked. we had no choice but to send them to SSPCA and hope a loving family would take them in.

on the way to the shelter, they slept like tiny, tiny logs.

it really broke my heart to have had to leave them there...even as we walked back to the car, their baby meows were unbearable.

a huge part of me feels so useless...
but a part of me is glad for moments in life such as this.

:: matthew 10:29-31 ::

2010-01-21T20:54:00.005+08:00

“What is the price of two sparrows – one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”
~Matthew 10: 29-31 (NLT)

**side note**
thoughts of revamping my logo has been sloshing around my brain.
should i stick to the old, should i re-evaluate myself as a photog hobbyist?

:: across the fence ::

2010-01-16T17:32:00.009+08:00

right. so you've heard of neighbours exchanging first fruits from their gardens and containers filled with homecooked goodies. it is also common to stop and exchange words of greetings and gestures of "you're ok".

today, we exchanged

...a kitten.

since her arrival, we'd come home from work, look across the fence, call for her and she'd come bounding in all her kitten energy. she did this, till our very own grown up mister-i'm-the-boss-of-the-hood cat showed his disaproval of her coming across the fence.

for a few weeks now, little kittie's owner wouldn't let her come over. and i'd miss seeing her and calling her name. today, the neighbour was kind enough to hand her over the fence so we could hug, cuddle and stroke her. and of course, our mister was not happy.

yep. some lovin' made mister feel better.

for a second or two.

:: some left ::

2010-01-12T20:55:00.005+08:00

the sun goes down on my way home from work.

sometimes i get a treat to see some light through my bedroom window.

a peaceful end to however the day went.

:: after 12 years ::

2010-01-09T18:03:00.005+08:00

the tiger stirs...

and comes to play once more

so, who else is a tiger baby?

we should all gather up our tails and sing the Tigger song!

*woots!*

this post is proudly brought to you by:

*blissful sigh*

:: how do you ::

2010-01-03T20:12:00.006+08:00

how do you tell a heart that just because everyone else's lives are moving forward,
doesn't mean yours never will?

how do you tell a heart to be brave?

:: it's still up ::

2010-01-01T18:14:00.002+08:00

my christmas tree, that is.

wonder when i'll get off my lazy mode to take it down.

the cat doubts.

:: for 2010 ::

2009-12-31T20:10:00.015+08:00

i wish you peace wherever you go.

and in whatever you do.

when things go wrong.

and you can't seem to find your feet.

look out the window,

for i wish you this...

may we have peace with the world

may we have peace with ourselves.

***

i can't stop thanking each and everyone of you who has shared in this place and who have encouraged me with, "please update your blog!".. :) sincerely, i appreciate this special community, though i may not know most of you personally. it has been a whirlwind of emotions...still i am grateful for what you've given me through the sharing of our lives in big and small ways.

i love reading all of your blogs...and thanks for dropping a note for me whenever you can..and i try to do the same for you too. to those 'silent readers', it would be great to hear a "hi!" cos i sure would love to thank you in a more personal way and exchange links. :)

there's still too much more for me to learn!

lots of x to the o!

:: a year gone by ::

2009-12-28T22:12:00.002+08:00

...what sparklings now immortalized?

:: like a cat ::

2009-12-26T14:19:00.002+08:00

life lays low...

...then it strikes.

:: pieces of peace ::

2009-12-24T00:29:00.007+08:00

this season i love because of...

presents.
as stressful as it can get, it's serious joy to me. no, not so much in the getting (though i do appreciate 'em heaps, 'specially them airmail cards!) for me, it's all about the wrapping process and the giving away. they're not luxurious gifts, but that simple action of giving...there's just somethin'.

christmas hangouts.

it seems a 'lil bit easier to get everyone together... and when we do, it's all feelings of a cocktail mix. the different personalities, paths in life...but all still the same as we've shared the ups and downs in growing up.

...what do you love about this season?

:: the dawning ::

2009-12-05T22:01:00.006+08:00

...of Christmas

yesss!

have you glittered-up your tree?

well, ok. so not with nail polish.. but i didn't feel to 'show off' my 'wonderful' tree with all it's 'bountiful' decorations... :) simple, but the excitement is just as grand! in the midst of frenzy present hunting and other plans.. i hope you guys are having a good pre-Christmas season! many hugs and lovelovelove!

:: silence ::

2009-11-28T21:13:00.005+08:00

sorry for the boring state of this space.

as we all know, when you're busy, you're busy and when you get that brief moment to breathe

...it's undescribable.

:: red ::

2009-11-07T11:21:00.004+08:00

"Oh, I love red. I'm very loyal to my colors. I love violet."
--Elizabeth Taylor

:: bought me some sunshine ::

2009-11-01T15:11:00.006+08:00

:: why? ::

2009-10-24T13:32:00.000+08:00

:: fishie family ::

2009-10-11T15:07:00.004+08:00

for science lesson, sis caught some drain fish to show her students... and now, they seem to be a permanent addition to the family...

life... you just never know...

:: older ::

2009-09-12T21:50:00.006+08:00

I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go

Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder

It's kinda tough getting older

~ Colbie Caillat

:: bitter heart ::

2009-09-06T18:14:00.002+08:00

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine
~Zee Avi

:: my malaysia ::

2009-08-31T17:18:00.007+08:00

shelter from the wars that still plaque the world

the islands of beauty that makes us unique

the perseverance to survive...and to get up again

the cultural influences that has made me who i am today

if we as malaysians don't love malaysia

...who will?

happy 52nd independance!

:: sorry ::

2009-08-22T20:29:00.009+08:00

i truly am.

how do you apologise to a dead blog?

it's been a steady whirlwind of...life. and dear camera has been lonely.

last weekend pal graduated and it was a joyous moment! also, a time to celebrate for dear camera as i brought the dude out for a much needed walk...and wohoo!! it felt so good!

*note: i'm not good at portraits..so, bear with me yah?

:: in all honesty ::

2009-07-26T23:39:00.006+08:00

... i don't know why i keep doing what i do.

i am grateful for the few who take the time to come over to this tiny space right here in the world wide web... you come...so i must be doing something right.

i think.

i can almost forget the feeling to relax..or breathe...

today i sneaked a shot over the fence to my neighbours' backyard.

i hope soon, this fence in life will disapear so i can go closer

and really see.

:: that's life ::

2009-07-19T22:20:00.011+08:00

daily struggles to make a living and holding onto empty dreams.

sometimes you'll come out scarred.

and so i've heard,

"that's life!"

plans get washed out by rain

you get lost, going round in circles.

and still i hear,

"that's life!"

:: grown up, baby ::

2009-07-14T19:08:00.004+08:00

that's what most of the children at the Salvation Army Children's Home have to be.

one month ago, we prepared handmade covered books for each of the children.

and little fortunate angels came along to give them out. it was such a great sight to see. children should be taught how to love other children, especially those not in their usual circles.

this guy caught my attention throughout the activities. rowdy, yes, but cute too!

some of his gang.

one of the few girls who willingly gave me a straight smile.

i know how it feels to grow up without a father. still, i can never begin to comprehend growing up without a mom too. i pray that in those books we gave them, they would be able to express themselves in words, pictures...

we were allowed to visit their rooms. this was along the walkway where some of them use the "checkered" designed walls as shoe racks.

some of the toys they play with.

school shoes! so cute! i forget how small one can be.

this little sunshine is one of the youngest in the home. i wish i dared to have given her a hug... but i'm chicken that way, see. and i know, some of us are too, when it comes to reaching out to others...

...but i can pray for them, and remember them.

and look forward to seeing them soar high in life.

:: speechless ::

2009-06-30T21:20:00.004+08:00

that's what news of death does to me.

how much more can a heart take?

with life already so fragile..

does it need any more harder of a blow?

it's like the day ending

but no rays for hope and emerging light.

we cry, we mourn

we try to understand.

but there's still life

and life in the little things.

:: sunday ::

2009-06-23T22:27:00.005+08:00

sunday afternoon. the perfect time for an afternoon siesta/nap. still, the lot of us from my church home fellowship group fought through our tired eyes and car sickness to visit with a family.

and what can i say but only that it was good.

3 generations caught in time...

another cute boy who just would not crack even the tiniest of smiles..but, i later did catch him in all his cheerful glory while pretending to have a conversation on his older cousin's handphone.. let me tell you, the smile was adorable!

i don't fancy stray dogs much but i liked the sun on his back, so with a beating heart, i stayed and tried to capture it...

but the dog trotted along :(

future director?

oh, oh!! i do not know where to begin! she is THE MOST beautiful baby i have EVER seen!

doesn't she share some similarities with grandpa there in the foreground?

future model?

future....uh...

*draws a blank*

check out my facebook for the more silly side of this trip.

:: funfilled ::

2009-06-22T20:48:00.006+08:00

this field trip to the mayang tea plantation, mushroom farm, chicken farm and fish cum dragon fruit farm happened two weeks ago. took a day off from work because i needed a break...and i actually craved the sun!

a house we walked passed by to get to the mushroom farm.

the power lady behind the business...she was so inspiring! she knew nothing about the industry, but went ahead and educated herself through the internet. her motto? "berani coba!" translation: "just do it!"

chicken farm. yes, those are airconds...the chickens are kept in cool temperatures.

baby dragon fruit...so beautiful!

mommy dog suverying her property ~ the fish farm

baby doggie being cute.

unfortunately, cute baby doggie recently hurt snowy during playtime, hence his lack of movement. ginger at the bottom there was just curious.

now ain't that just an adorable duplex?

:: 30 minutes ::

2009-06-09T21:38:00.008+08:00

that's pretty much how long it took to bring us back to a place of simplicity. where?

Muara Tebas.

remember these? colorful marbels that made me, as a kid, go crazy as i would spin them round and round in between my fingers, and my imagination would bring me away for hours just wondering how the colorful thingies got entrapped inside.

it was such pleasure and relief to know that some children are still keeping the simple and traditional games alive. i could almost feel the tears coming. honest.

this dude here, went around mimicking mom and i with our cameras. and i'd say, he was doing a much better looking job! :)

i like how the guy looked back towards the camera.

this little fella was at first so shy, he ran away! after some coaxing from his mom, he sat back and gave me a priceless smile!

...and he kept on bringing it!

interestingly enough, this senior resident told us we came at a bad time for mom to do her Social Studies as the weekends are a busy time for the villagers...to get married! unfortunately though, we didn't witness any of it...

this princess would not give me a smile. but i just love this picture. and her dress!

another princess. sitting by herself...i think she was trying not to laugh.

this house was right at the end of one corner of the village. the mister at the doorway is 21. yep. he doesn't look like it, but, he's already working as a security guard. from the way he spoke, it wasn't hard to hear how tough life has been. i admire his tenacity. you can see it in his face.

this young lady gave me a pose. she was sitting in the shade in front of her home talking to her girlfriends. made me wish my friends and i could be there, sitting under handmade shades and just soaking up each other's words...

these two boys are my favourite! (hence the two edits; i can't decide!). can't help but giggle each time i looked at them while taking photos and even now, looking at the stills. believe me, those faces were all they gave. i couldn't tell what was on their minds...

but for sure they were not happy that i intruded on their rock-picking game.

:: woke up today ::

2009-06-06T11:00:00.003+08:00

...and i could litterally smell the air of my yesterdays. i could hear the rythm that used to beat in my heart. i could see the road i was always dreaming of.

but things get thrown off too quickly, i guess. so fast that today, i am wondering with fear in my heart of how i got here and how the things i treasure so dearly seem so far away..

i gotta stick it out, stick it out further. and grab whatever comes. because every little sun ray melts the cold shell that surrounds this passion.

:: enjoy ::

2009-06-02T01:03:00.005+08:00

...just enjoy today. and enjoy i did :)

a blessed Harvest Festival to all!

and as usual;

:: when i think about it ::

2009-05-24T20:26:00.007+08:00

...you got to have a past

to have a future

"how could i forget His love

how could i forget His mercy

He satisfies, He satisfies."

:: unexplainable ::

2009-05-18T19:04:00.007+08:00

yesterday i stood under the sorching sun.

i hate heat.

i hate getting a bad sunburn (which i did).

but this time, it was so unexplainable...

it made me feel so alive!

:: one cupcake at a time ::

2009-05-10T22:17:00.005+08:00

~ happy mommy's day to yours & mine! ~

:: like a baby... ::

2009-05-02T22:19:00.006+08:00

....i want to sleep.

no worries about tommorow. no sour reflections on today.
just...peaceful, beautiful sleep.

... or maybe i should move to the beach for a gorgeous view for that morning exercise.

...ok, scratch that exercise bit :)

on a more serious note, i have an embarassing confession to make:
i suck at self-portrait pics with people.

it's frustrating that i always end up toward the far side. it's a big whoop-dee-doo! to see 80% of my face (or the face on the other end). i'm a righty but the button's a lefty, meaning i ain't got much strength to hold the camera up and at a distance.

so i'm here, ready to learn...got any tips for a seemingly uncurable *disease* like mine?

:: growing older means... ::

2009-04-19T21:53:00.011+08:00

... more homebaked goodies from friends

... adding to that jewellery collection

... receiving things that you don't need...

... but want (for no specific reason - how often would i use a 1shot glass?).

growing older also means,
each and every memory taken out from the box
smells so sweet, it makes you cry.

* thanks to everyone who made me smile and blush today. to my family from afar who texted and wrote - miss u guys! if i didn't acknowlege you in a photograph today, please remember i treasure every one. when i am able, i will try to update. it was raining cats and dogs, thus i didn't have much good light to work with. forgive this amatuer.. :)

** yes, my full name is Patricia Wong...maybe one day i'll do a post on this.

:: i wonder ::

2009-04-10T16:49:00.013+08:00

i wonder about life...why does it tire so?

went to the hospital to visit a coma patient. as i watched his chest rise and fall, i wondered about life. in the next bed, a wife combed her husband's hair and whispered in his ear. she must know he can hear her... i wondered about life.

i wonder and i wonder.

then i see Jesus and His open arms.

"You carry me, You are my strength

I've learnt to trust in You

And once again I'm reaching out"

~ a Good Friday to all who believe ~

:: life. still ::

2009-03-28T20:21:00.009+08:00

i believe there's still life.

i must.

ps: it's been some trying times over here. thanks for not deleting me off ur blogrolls and personal friend lists... let's pray things'll get back to at least some normalcy soon, aye? :)

:: calm ::

2009-03-09T16:34:00.008+08:00

:: so i went to the market ::

2009-02-26T19:31:00.010+08:00

:: don't forget me ::

2009-02-15T20:59:00.009+08:00

to the maker of Heaven and Earth

to the keeper of passions and dreams

there is nothing i can do or say

to express this deep desperation

you know my every wishes
my every dying stardust

just...please don't forget me.

:: silent journey ::

2009-02-07T16:25:00.004+08:00

i smelt it in the fog, i felt it in the rushing wind.

my heart so captivated by the places we once shared.

[ i miss you ]

[ where are you? ]

[ you told me i'll never be alone ]

:: worn out cracks ::

2009-01-31T23:23:00.003+08:00

so tired of all these cracks
i try to imagine the life that could grow within
but i think i need to rest awhile
i think i need some release

:: sky art ::

2009-01-26T02:50:00.005+08:00

it's usually defeaning by early evening but this year, it all seemed pretty silent. so it was easy for me to assume that maybe, just maybe, this year will be bliss...

15 minutes to midnight:

now, don't you think this is just dangerous? as silly as i felt for standing so far away with a beating heart, i thought some parents could've been more alert.

and again, more fire crackers that were really long and defeaning...

i'm sad this shot didn't turn out sharp.

as much i think the smoke adds to pollution, i do think it has a great effect..

every year i try to avoid these telephone wires and every year they show up!!

one of my favourite shots; a purposely blurred shot of an explosion (gee, it's looking a lot like christmas, dont-cha think?)

a blessed chinese new year to all us chinese!!

and happy visiting to everyone!

:: just hanging ::

2009-01-15T23:32:00.004+08:00

some things are finding its peace.

some places have met its history.

yet some still remain
hanging in the air
like a bubble waiting to burst.

:: in His hands ::

2009-01-01T22:16:00.009+08:00

I could write you a book about the many ups and downs of my 2008. I could send you round the earth and back again in giving you a full report of my past year. In so many ways, I could. But, I won’t.

Instead, I would like to share with you a few thoughts that has helped me as I anticipated the new year…

growing up doesn't get any easier. 2008 has brought me endless emotional challenges that some today, i am still fighting. but, i've had many opportunities to put into practise the best way to deal with things you struggle with; surrender it to God in prayer and trust that He has heard you and is fighting alongside you.

When the enemy comes knocking on a door you closed long ago, you just call out,

“Jesus, it’s for you!”

- Christy Miller (Robin Jones Gunn)

countless moments of uncertainty and fear clouded my mind...but in a moment of silence in worship before the King, He placed upon my heart a simple sentence,

"stop whining, and start winning".

...i'm not saying it's going to be easy.

..i'm not saying my confidence is at a hundred percent

but i have surrendered this new year to the Lord.

i know full well, He holds it in His Hands.

:: good morning ::

2008-12-28T14:01:00.011+08:00

my bed faces the windows so that every morning, the first i see is the sky.

my vision is usually blur before i do a thousand blinks.

today, something in the reflection of the window made me feel blur...

"where am i?"

"the sahara dessert?!"

"africa?!"

"and look! there are cool shadows too!"

:: merry CHRISTmas ::

2008-12-25T00:26:00.012+08:00

oh, how time flies!! today is the day God sent His son Jesus for me and you!

i know that when things go bad, i tend to forget God and rely on my emotions and mind to overcome problems. when things are going great, i can't even give a second to stop jumping up and down to thank God for His goodness and faithfulness...

this Christmas, i'm slowing down to really allow God to give me a renewed enlightenment of what this season is all about.

it's not about the lights...

...for no light can shine brighter than Him.

it's not about the presents...

...for not one is as priceless as His gift of love.

dear friends, don't be disapointed if your present pile hasn't even grown an inch or that you didn't get close to what you wanted... don't feel ignored if people didn't wish you "Merry Christmas" or sent a smile your way.

it's easier said than to truly believe...

still, Christmas is so much more than just those things.

it's about someone loving us so much to leave His throne and become a man

just so He can present to us a gift so priceless

and He did it in a personal way.

:: i'm happy ::

2008-12-12T00:22:00.007+08:00

Doulos.

the ship that carries not only books of stories and knowledge around the world, but also people from all over, representing different cultures but one God. these are people who have dedicated their lives for a few years (without salary) to reach out to people far and wide for the Lord.

Doulos.

the place i was too young 8 yrs ago to work onboard as a volunteer. but today, it's official - i am one of 40 volunteers for the next two weeks!! i am speechless and oh, so grateful!! there were moments i doubted that this whole thing would fall through, and almost at the last minute, i was faced with the tearful decision to pull out...to cut a kinda long story short, i believe this all happened according to God's timing.

so! i'm in the Accomodation Department. yes, we do laundry, toilets and all those cleaning stuff. wait! don't feel sorry or "eew!" for me. i seriously don't mind it. it's stuff i do at home, but on a massive level. so far, the people i've met both locally and internationally have been awesome and i look forward to getting to know them better and having the experience of a lifetime!

i was delighted when i boarded and familiar smells tingled many fond memories.

for those unfamiliar with this ship or have yet the opportunity to visit, go have an online experience at: http://www.mvdoulos.org/

on another happy note,

Christmas is just around the corner!!

started on them cookies yet?

:: she's beautiful! ::

2008-12-10T21:20:00.009+08:00

8 years…
It’s been 8 long years!
Just like the rumours of her going to stop sailing,

I didn't expect to see her tonight (although from afar).

"She’s beautiful!"
That’s all I could say while trying to catch my breath.
"She’s beautiful!"
That’s all I knew as I held her in my gaze.

Doulos is back!
Doulos is back!

As I drove away from the port,
there’s no better way to describe my emotions
than to compare it to feelings of a first love.

It’s as if my first crush
had just professed his undying love for me.
It’s like dropping at lightning speed into a waterfall
and not fearing the depth and the rocks.

It’s like gazillion butterflies in my stomach...
...each one dancing to it’s own rhythm.
It’s like a dying need to be Mr. Rubber Man
and wrap my arms around the ship in a great big hug.

It’s stupid, I know,
to be in love with a heap of metal...

i can't begin to tell you how big a part of my life she is.

You'll call me crazy.

Still, for years, I have desired for her return.

Tomorrow, I shall sniff the familiar smell.
Tomorrow, I shall hear the familiar sounds.
Tonight, i won't be getting any sleep.

Doulos is back!!
…my every being giggles!!

:: wrong order ::

2008-12-04T21:05:00.006+08:00

ok, so who broke out the rain dancing?

in case you've misheard me, i ordered for snow...

no...not melted snow...i mean, snow! yknow, snowballs?

sigh...guess i'll have to settle with rain bombs.

what's on my christmas greeting card this year? (and every single year)

:: up yet? ::

2008-12-01T00:22:00.021+08:00

....your christmas tree, i mean.

(mine looks like a thrown-together-in-the-dark...will have to fix it again soon)

i took it out early November but i've been dreaming about the moment since the last i put it away in March of this year. i broke the record of leaving it up for so long - i'm wondering if i should try to break another...

my favourite part this year would be these stars (thanks, mom!)

it breaks my heart to find a dead bulb as they were bought only last christmas and it hurts 'cause i spent lots on those decorations...each tiny bulb counts. drop one of them ornaments and i'll scream. (something i've already achieved)

so peeps, if your christmas tree is still in that store room, go get it out so you can play with your reflections in the ornaments.

oh, you already are?

:: no routine ::

2008-11-27T21:33:00.009+08:00

sometimes life gets so monotonous you can’t help but scream and pull out all your hair…i guess i didn’t want to be bald so i upped and planned for a change in routine for a day. i made a list of “things to do” and i’m proud to say i checked it all off but one.

one of the things was to hang out at India Street. it’s been a while since i last set foot in that area. please bear with me through a few images i dare show. remember; i’m still an immature photog, so play nice. :)

it was a disapointingly dull skied day, but the heat was real, sister!

it started off with us making a conversation with this artist at his store. in the end, i was impressed and purchased a personalised keychain for pen pal Jen in Missouri.

i loved how they had these yellow lights dangling above their fishy products. so, ok, educate me, someone. why do they do that?

there's this narrow pathway which leads out to more shops. when i was younger, i always used to hate it when mom brought us there for it doesn't have a pleasant smell..but, i guess it's really not that bad (just walk faster).

one of the most interesting thing that happened was meeting two guys from some planting organization. it's not everyday i get to meet people who are passionate about what they do. their job is to ensure the safety of the trees around town. here they were measuring the height of a 60 year old tree and it was their 200th plus tree that they have measured since the day before.

from our short conversation, they did not forget to express their desire for the younger generation to appreciate nature. well, no problemo over here, mister. you've got a supporter in me! :)

i was so excited when i saw this guy that i didn't think before blurting out, "what camera is that?" but he was kind enough to tell me nicely that it's not a camera but a measuring thinga-majigie (i forgot).

i love going downtown because of the old buildings. i pray that these will not be torn down. they are reminders of our humble beginings before the rush of hard concrete buildings that to me cannot compete with the character these wooden ones display.

but then again, sometimes, "modern" makes for nice.

my favourite shots of the day:

see the bubble thing near the fly's mouth? it's drinking water!! no joke! i wish my lens allowed me closer access...but, take my word for it. flies drink water too! (i think..ok, i'm going to google after this)

if this bench were a guy, i'd marry it. i just love art in all forms, and this one screams at me. simple, but romantic.

and last but not least,

i have to thank pal for being so game. it was fun but more importantly, it's your patience i appreciate as i stopped to take pictures and forced you to wait. and oh...thanks for not laughing out loud when people stared at me and especially acclaimed aloud when i stooped low to take the siliest things and blocked people's way.

let's play tourist again soon.

:: untitled emotions ::

2008-11-24T20:16:00.004+08:00

When I don’t know what to do
When I feel lower than a snake’s belt
I take my best friend for a walk
and together we search for some perspective

I wish my life were a camera
I’ll boldly aim
Frame at this ordinary
and find what beautifies

When I cannot cover the big
I’ll try my best at the tiny

But lately my hands are scared
My eyes can’t seem to focus

I feel I need a system upgrade
I could be better only then.
But if I cannot be good with the now
How about my tomorrow?

Can i survive what You've placed before me?

My heart and head disagree
Would You still love me
when I cannot follow the straight?

:: mission uncomplished ::

2008-11-21T22:29:00.008+08:00

so we each took a boat...

to get to this

mission acomplished.

...well...

no, not really. i wish it were that simple.

today's plans didn't materialize. but, at least we acomplished some things...

..i think.

for all it's worth, at least it ended with a sweet thing - flower on my hot chocolate!!

and oh, how i love recieving flowers! :)

ps: ja, you guessed right...we weren't anywhere near any boats...but, it wasn't supposed to be hot choc either!! watch out, dear near future!!

:: don't box me up ::

2008-11-19T15:09:00.003+08:00

A family member’s maid is staying with us while their home is being renovated. The past two days, she’s been busy cutting down a fruit tree in our backyard. It was raining mad and yet she enjoyed herself immensely up there in the tree despite the countless big red ants crawling all over her.

I admire her for that.

She is used to climbing trees and cutting barks for fire wood (or is that wood fire?) back home. This got me thinking to how different our lives are. I am aware that the people who came here to work were working for a better life – but today I got a better glimpse.

Most times I dislike walking by construction sites and rubbish dumps because of…...well, y’know.

Too often we look down on people who work in construction sites. We frown upon the people who come by every Tuesday and Friday to collect our waste. We never think twice about smiling at those road side sweepers. Nor do we even think of saying thank you when we hand our maids the dirty dishes.

All we can think of is how these people could’ve had a better life if only they tried harder. If only they paid attention in class and actually sat for their tests. If only they had controlled themselves from those crimes and unhealthy activities. If only, if only... and we tell our children to work harder because if they don’t, they’ll end up like these people.

We’ve created a tiny, unkempt box and placed these people into a corner in the minds of our children.

Still, these people are working at making a living. They’ve left their homes and families to at least bring home some form of a smile.

If these people had not the courage to work, what would we do with our growing rubbish? Who would help make sure our home was clean enough for that party and would our houses, schools and favourite shopping malls ever be completed?

These are people with unglamorous jobs, but what they do makes a huge difference.

So when we’re praying for our nation’s leaders, let’s not forget these unsung heroes.

:: houstan, we have a problem ::

2008-11-13T07:09:00.009+08:00

dear blogWorld,

i regret to inform you that i'll be taking a leave of absence from today till further notice.

my nose has gone on strike and decided sneezing is more fun than helping me breathe right. my voice has somewhat deepened and is cough infested. my brain and hands are tied into knots over an unending pile of workload and sleep is slowly becoming a thing of the past.

and oh, my head is missing too.

therefore, please accept my leave of absence.

from a loyal fan,

triSh* wong.

ps: my camera is collecting dust for it has hardly seen the day of light since I committed into this thing glamorously dubbed “work”…
pps: how sad is this? I don’t even have time to take a picture for this pathetic sick post. but because i'm extremely visual, i'll leave you with a word from my comic hero:

source: google

:: sis ::

2008-11-09T14:45:00.005+08:00

it was sis's birthday a few days ago (i know, how bad does that make me??) wait, listen, i have a legitimate reason! - the entire family was really caught up in work; tired, hungry...needing sleep. and i forgot i had this picture of her in my files.

sis is rather camera shy most times compared to me who totally hogs in front of the camera...for reasons besides that i'm a million times more of her skinny frame (!!). i thought this was a nice picture of her and she actually looked at the camera! :p

we're not very tight like two pods in a pea. but, we've gone through a lot together whether we speak of them or not. life's lessons on being so little and not knowing what was going on in the family but having to move to a new city, having to find and fend for ourselves once again in a new school, church, neighbourhood, but mostly feeling the emptiness that never should've been there in the first place.

we're very different, sis and i. she's more level-headed and responsible while i can be too flexible. when we're on the road, she'll follow road signs right down to the last alphabet while i, without much hesitation, will go against the arrow. when it comes to children, she'll be quick to discipline in love, but i will be too concerned of making the kid cry that i will not address the issue for too long. she loves science fiction and horror while i'm forever a chick flick-er.

sis is always there to scold when i think too low of myself and she was always there to help me in schoolwork that sometimes i have to tell her "no" because i want to actually do the work. :)

i know we'll never stop changing. still, there will always be the memories that never will.

i've always envied twins. they share such a bond that words cannot express...i'd be lying if i said i never wished i were a twin. and i know i'm not alone when i say that. but, God gave me an older sister, and i am undoubtedly very much grateful.

i've come to realize that no matter the fights and differences, she'll always hold a place in my heart. she’s my sibling, the one that shared the good and the bad of this family. we share things that none of my girlfriends would truly understand even if i burn their ears off retelling the stories...

…and with that, i am thankful for the person that sis is.

:: oh Great God ::

2008-11-04T01:55:00.004+08:00

Oh Great God, be small enough to hear me now.

There were times when I was crying from the dark of Daniel's den, and I have asked you once or twice if you would part the seas again. But tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky, Just wanna know, you're gonna hold me if I start to cry.

Oh Great God be small enough to hear me now..

- Nichole Nordeman.